April 7th, 2010.
Good afternoon,
So today isn’t a very good day, I woke up feeling sick. I told myself I’d try not to get sick like everyone else but it already happend, I can’t help it D: I’m missing a math test, gonna have to make that up…ugh ! Oh well the only thing i can do is enjoy my rest time. I’m watching one free hill (: good stuff, this show is s dramatic :]]]]]
I can’t wait to talk to Jed, I know he’ll make everything all better,he always does. Man i just want to enjoy as much time with him as I can, I wanna create as many memories with him as I can before he leaves. It’s time for me to act like the good girlfriend i was before. I hope that I can make this the best 3 or 4 months of his life. I remember the time when I used to only live for him, we were so happy. I love Jed so much and I will make the rest of his time here as special as I can.
-Tori
Post with 1 note
i guess theres still hope.
Today was a good day compared to the last couple days. School was normal, kinda boring, but nothing wrong happend. After school I went to the Palama session & I got to get a lot of my stress out and just dance & enjoy without having to worry about everyone judging me. My bus came right away, but I’m still glad Don & noodle walked me to the bus stop, it’s always good when your friends care about you. So I’m glad. I just went home & yea. Now I’m feeling pretty lonely, but it’s because I choose to be. Theres no point in temp. happiness, just gotta stick this shit out one day at a time. I’m gonna get off the computer & figure out how I’m gonna do my nails for from & what shoes I’m gonna wear.
UH tomorrow (: get to practice & see all the friends that make me smile. good night Tumblr people.
Say hello to my good bye..
So this morning I talked to Jed, this week we tried to see how it would be if we tried to be together again. I mean I was happy but also very stressed. It was just like before, fighting constantly. As much as I hate to say it I don’t know if we’ll ever be together again. I’m also scared no one will ever want me the way he did..or still does. I guess I feel it’s time to move on, and I don’t know how to do that. It’s hard enough to not think about it, it’s not as bad to pretend. But it is very difficult to completely be over it, and open a new chapter in my life.
A little bit ago I watched that selena gomez movie “another cinderella story” while watching her and the male lead, I felt like crying. Didn’t know I was that sensitive about this..*sigh* Well I don’t know what it is, I have no idea whats going on…lonelyness kills. And whats funny is there are people who like me & want to save me from this but..I don’t want them. I’d rather be lonely then lie to a good person to get temp. happiness. The only thing I have is dance,all my friends are from dancing. The only things I have to ever look forward to is Waikiki street shows, sessions & events. That’s my whole life,now that i list it like that in a nutshell I feel like a loser. Oh well..I’m glad I have practice to look forward to tomorrow, Don,Harvy & I are gonna get down with the get down. If i didn’t have them I’d do what I used to do when I was in a relationship. Go to school,come home and wait for Jed to finish sessioning and call me. I’d do that everyday, just wait for him. Then I’d wait some more till he finished homework and eating and napping and all that. All i wanted was to talk to him. I have no idea why I’m talking about this…
I feel so lonely..
Bad day, turned into a great night (:
So yesterday was a pretty bad day, woke up early & shit then couldn’t see my friend, he’s not texting me back and what not D: and like idk, just got bitched at by parents all day soooo I left my house, met up with Kyle at alaz, along with my bestie, & some playskool ppls & some pz niggas. Then Kyle,Don & Collen and I headed to Waikiki. There we met up with my hommies from 808 & Kev & Ice. AWESOME night ! I absolutly love kicking it with my friends on the street in Waikiki. And at the same time showing everyone the hip hop culture we all love. Good stuff (:
Nights like those are what we live for, although there was an altercation & we were right in the middle of it. All of us were just sitting down & I saw theres 4 men walking kinda fast and angry looking toward us so I started telling Jeff,the bad thing about Waikiki is drunk people that cause trouble. So those men mob jobbed these other two men on both sides of us. And Jeff got ran overish from one of the guys but he’s okay. I’m glad none of us got hurt, I was kinda just hiding by Ice & Kev because I seem to have bad luck with drunk creepers. After that we moved further down the street & just chilled (:
Hmm also theres an all style battle at diverse, Don & Harvy & I are gonna be practicing really hard this week & if were ready hopefully we’ll enter & if not it’s still cool to go and watch so support my hommies <3
Well it’s time for me to go and get ready & do chores and what not. My mother is already jumping on my nuts. Good bye (:
it’s an unknown mystery.
So I already blogged this morning thinking I was all gee..or not. I feel so depressed for some reason..it’s so weird i have like no idea why….and everyones on my ass and it’s just making it worst. For some unknown reason I feel so depressed it sucks, idk where my friends are at.
I’m fucking going nuts, everyone yelling at me and I just don’t wanna be heere.I’m gonna do my shit & clean like my parents bitch and just leave.I have no where to go, and I feel like complete shit..maybe it’s because Jed isn’t here. I guess I get a little unstable when he’s not here for me..ugh I can be such a dependant baby sometimes. Well I’m going to go and finish all this stupid shit.
bye for now guys.
the sun is up & no one else is -____-“
Good morning (:
I never get up this early (i got up at 800am) on a weekend,too bad I can’t go where I wanted to go..hmm I feel sad because I wanted to see my friend Gabe ): aww man. Well I have absolutly no idea what I’m going to do today ! ugh. Well the cool thing is the most awesome crack whore in the world let me barrow her very pretty nikon so I’ve been trying to up my photo skills because i have ZERO ! (: haha
What will I do today?
HELLO,my name is…
Victoria Kalakona Cambra
So almost no one knows my full name so there it is, I wish I had a cooler name. Something exotic & pretty..my name sounds white >__<” I constantly compare myself to everyone else, and that is why I’ll never be happy. I know the girls on the cover of magazines don’t really look like that, and I know our parents say “because I said so” because they can’t come up with a good enough reason to be unreasonable.
I have naturally curly/wavy hair that I will never let anyone see
I’m very self conscious, I think my ass/hips/thighs are fat,my nose looks funny,I have small ears. I have been told I have a nice mouth tho..that was an awkward moment but yea.. I also hate my feet..I should just cut them off & have stubs.
My friends are my everything, my family isn’t there for me. So I believe my friends are my family. I live to take care of them & protect them.I will never be able to live without them,especially my best friend Emi. I’ll write a blog about how important she is to be later. But you should know that I love her very much.
TO BE CONTINUED…
need sleep
jacked.
PS:Loke I’m taking your idea of writing random facts about myself, maybe I might even be able to learn more about myself..who knows?
friend? or not..
So in this blog I’ll be relieveing stress about a certian friend I’ve known since I was 14 or 15 years old. You think by now we would be pretty close huh? Well I guess our friendship has been pretty on & off. When I do get the chance to have a conversation with him, I do…& it feels as if nothing has changed no matter how much time passed. This probably seems like a good thing, but nothing also gets better..
So the last time I talked to this friend was at a session at Aiea rec,he waited with me, while my ride was coming so I wouldn’t be alone. I thought that was a nice gesture. That night he told me he’d call me, and I warned him not to flake out on me. Because I really dislike it when people are unrealiable, and “squirly”Anyway this friend ended up not calling me & I did wait up so I was pretty dissappointed, not to mention I had a horrible night that day & was looking forward to relieveing some of my stress by talking it out with him. I got a text a bit ago asking if he could come to my house & cruise, I’m a little tired so I said we should hang out tomorrow, he agreed but..I honestly don’t think he’ll call me like he said he would or even ask about hanging out. It makes me pretty depressed, everytime he wants to chill I’ve been open & I do put effort toward becoming close again but I feel like it’s wasted. I don’t wanna be let down again.. I like to be able to trust & depend on my friends and I want to be able to be there for my friends always.
I’m just confused and I don’t understand his logic, does he like to let me down, and fake me out all the time? I wanna talk to him about it but text messaging is too impersonal, and I don’t know when I’ll catch him on the phone… I remember every year we used to have a stay up contest and sleep on the phone together. Or a looonnnnnng ass time ago, he used to play guitar for me over the phone and I’d fall asleep. Idk I would just like my friend back but I’m afraid it aint gonna happen. Well lets hope that he comes through tomorrow, I wanna have faith in him. And if he doesn’t…..I don’t wanna think about negative outcomes until I need to.
Page 1 of 11
